It is ok to make mistakes. No, really it is. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it is.
I used to hate making mistakes. Sometimes I still do. I felt like I was letting everyone else down and they would think badly of me. But actually I realise now that I was my own worst judge. See, it feels like it is ok for other people to make mistakes. Other people do that all the time. But not me. No, if I made a mistake my world would fall apart.
At some point that began to change. It is wrapped up in learning to be comfortable being me. I am looking out at the sunrise and realising that the sun still comes up every day whether I made a mistake or not. And mistakes come from getting out of your comfort zone and taking a risk. That’s scary. But not as scary as going a lifetime of ‘playing it safe’, being bored and regretting not trying that new thing just in case you make a mistake.
That could be suggesting a new way of doing things at work. It could be having a deeper conversation with a partner. It could be changing up your wardrobe. It could be starting your own business.
It can help to ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen. Seriously map that out. If it is just that you will feel like a fool if it doesn’t work out, well that’s not so bad. You won’t die from feeling like a fool. And maybe some people will criticise or laugh but you don’t need to accept their negativity.
Now I am busy making lots of mistakes. Lots of ‘new’ mistakes. I learn, I re-adjust, I carry on. I listen to myself. I keep company with those who are also ‘in the arena’, fighting their own fight, rather than with the critics shouting from the sidelines. I even made myself a post-it-note reminder. A post-it cheerleader.
Go big, go bold, go fail. ‘Fail’ sounds so bad doesn’t it. How about we re-name it to ‘that’s one way I have found NOT to do it, which means I am getting closer to the successful way to do it’.
Yeah, that sounds a lot better.
Thanks for reading. If you have any challenges with creating the life you love that you would like some support with, let’s have a chat about how I can help. I offer a free, no obligation, introductory session where you can experience my coaching firsthand.
Click here to get in touch.
I run a closed Facebook group for recovering people pleasers (women only).
I am running support groups in London and Surrey for women who want to live free of the tyranny of people pleasing. See https://www.meetup.com/London-Recovering-People-Pleasers-Meetup-women-only/ and https://www.meetup.com/Surrey-Recovering-People-Pleasers-Meetup-women-only/ for more details.